The Three Pillars of Discipline
My non-conventional way of approaching discipline
Dear Mama,
“The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days; while she who lets their habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction with the children.”
Charlotte Mason, Home Education, p. 136
When it comes to parenting, there is no real formula. There are many methods/strategies out there, but when I try to apply them, I find that while they may work on one child, they won’t necessarily work on another. Therefore, it has come to my attention that when it comes to child discipline, there are basically three training pillars.
I. Habit Training
Habit training is instilling good habits into our children. This includes putting their shoes away in the correct place, brushing teeth, and more. The purpose of habit training is to teach them good practices, which will in turn cultivate good adults and reduce the mama triggers.
II. Consistency
Habit training is nothing if we are not consistent. This means a lot of repetition. The repetition will try your patience, but it is important to remember that children are born knowing very little and are learning a lot. Some children take longer to develop their habits than others. Our children are not pets that can be trained; they are born persons with free will, so they will try your patience. Nevertheless, we need to stay calm, grounded, and humble during these difficult moments.
III. Consequence
Consequences may vary among children. Why? Because children are born persons and do not respond to outcomes in the same way as adults. On more than one occasion, I have come up with a consequence on the spot because my children found a new way to break a rule.
I will admit that on more than one occasion, I have made up a rule and consequence on the spot. Why? Because my children did something I never thought of or did myself growing up. It is okay to make up rules and consequences on the spot and add them to the family culture.
Cultivating well-trained and disciplined children requires us to be consistent with our expectations while allowing for a touch of improvisation. It’s okay not to have all the answers. The Lord is helping us.
What is your biggest struggle in parenting?
Warmly,
Mirley
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